Latest PC euphemism worthy of The Onion
Posted by Richard on January 11, 2019
We’re not even halfway through January and we already have a strong candidate for the politically correct euphemism of the year. Via Twitchy:
Earlier this week, a New Jersey man shot and killed an armed intruder in his home.
Sorry, did we say “armed intruder”? Thanks to NBC New York, we now know that “unwanted house visitor” is the correct term:
Police say a New Jersey man fought off an unwanted house visitor by using the suspect’s own gun, ultimately killing him https://t.co/1WHJSynccb
— NBC New York (@NBCNewYork) January 11, 2019
Well, the PC crowd has already established that illegal aliens should be called undocumented immigrants. Calling a home invasion an unwanted house visit seems like a logical next step for them. Here are some other PC euphemisms for crimes that they may want to consider:
Murder: involuntary end-of-life services
Carjacking: impromptu ride sharing with extreme prejudice
Mugging: unauthorized wealth redistribution
Rape: unrequested sperm donation
Kidnapping: involuntary relocation
Counterfeiting: freelance fractional-reserve banking
David Bryant said
I think “counterfeiting” should be “Federal Reserve Bank impersonation”. But that’s just me.
Richard said
Ooh, I like that. Better than mine.
Billll said
Unrequested works for all of those and is much less triggering.
Billll said
OTOH “Unrequested Wealth redistribution” is a pretty good description of taxation. Oh wait, it wasn’t unrequested, just not by me.
Richard said
Well, that same objection applies to using “unrequested” for any of them.
David Aitken said
I saw somewhere that rape was an “unwanted vagina visitor”.
Richard said
I don’t want to know where you saw that. But don’t be going back there.
Richard Shultz said
I like every one of these. They fit in so well with Dewey’s definition of political correctness that I have come to know and love. For those who may not have heard or read it, I present it here for your edification: Political correctness is… “A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a TURD by the clean end.”
Richard said
That must be the Dewey of Huey, Dewey, and Louie fame. I’m pretty sure it ain’t John Dewey.